Insecurity- “uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.”
We all have them. We all deal with them. We may see them when we look in the mirror: height, weight, hair, flaws, blemishes. Or they may be deeper: our social skills, our inability to do something, or the way we do things. Whatever they are, an insecurity is something about ourselves or our lives that make us feel anxious or fearful.
Insecurities can be like an inner voice constantly reminding us of something we lack, or something that we feel we’re not good at. Insecurities affect every aspect of our lives whether we realize it or not. They are the reason we may get shy in front of people and feel anxiety.
It is important to have confidence in yourself. Of course, we don’t want to become overconfident, but a certain level of happiness and confidence in yourself is healthy for you. Self-confidence gives us a positive attitude, lowers our anxiety, and helps us to be happy. Self-confident people easily encourage others as well.
So, how can we defeat insecurities? How can we become self-confident? It is not an easy overnight fix. It is something we must constantly work at. Getting rid of insecurities is a lifestyle and not a quick-fix. Although it takes time and effort, it is definitely worth it.
The Psychalive website recommends voice therapy. It is divided into these steps.
Write down what you are insecure about. This helps you to view negative thoughts as an “external enemy” rather than you actual view of yourself. Ex: You are ugly.
Where did that insecurity come from? Think about why you think that about yourself.
The hardest step. Respond to that insecurity. Respond to that insecurity as you would a friend that is saying that about themselves. For example: You are not ugly. You are a beautiful person. You are kind and sweet and are as beautiful a person you are inside and out.
Change your behaviour. If this insecurity is holding you back from something, do it. For example: If everytime you looked in the mirror you found a flaw, compliment yourself everytime you look in the mirror.
Another technique is to write out all your insecurities. This can be all at once, or as they come along. For every negative insecurity, write something that is good about yourself.
Do something that excites you everyday, maybe something you don’t normally do. Go into a new store, try on funny clothes, talk to someone and complement them. Do something small that is out of the norm for you. These little things will add to your self-confidence.
Another way to deal with insecurities is embrace them. That’s right. Maybe getting rid of your insecurity is not working. Embrace them then! Embrace means to accept willingly or enthusiastically. Since we all have insecurities, why do you need to take them so seriously? Know when you are not good at something and accept your weaknesses, but accept your strengths as well.
One of my favorite techniques that I know has worked on me is talking to myself as I would to a friend. It might seem a little funny, but it does work. Would you ever tell your friends they are ugly? Stupid? Don’t have any friends? Never! So why tell that to yourself?
Accept compliments as well. This can be really hard. Remember that the person telling you that honestly thinks that, and that is why they are telling you! Don’t question somebody who tells you that you look nice, or smart, or kind! Say thank you and believe it.
It is not easy to face your insecurities, let alone “defeat” them. However, it is possible. It takes a lot of work and effort. You may never completely get over them, but you will definitely be happier. In life we already face so many challenges, and as you get older it just gets harder. We don’t need to be criticizing ourselves. Sometimes when facing hard situations all you can control is yourself. So make sure you are happy and strong; build yourself up! You CAN defeat insecurities, and you CAN learn to embrace them.